. . .
4 years ago

Blog Post

◊ Posted by A β Pseudolonewolf
Categories: The Site
Well, sigh. Here I am at a time when I would much rather be in bed, writing another stupid blog post on my stupid website because a bunch of stupid people have been deliberately annoying. How fun and not at all crippling-and-chronic-headache-inducing this all is.

I've learned from this nonsense recently that Fig Hunter really is toxic and abominable and ugh. I have this headache thing, you see, which plagued me constantly for months and months back when I used to frequent this place, but it had been gone for months recently, since I cut this place out of my life, which was nice. It's come back now, though, and it's made it very hard to concentrate or do anything over the last week or so. Which isn't fun. Eyelid spasms! I have those too. They're not fun either.

I don't even know what people are getting their knickers in a twist about now, anyway, parading around hackery as if this is going to make any kind of positive difference to anyone (hint: it isn't), because I neither know nor care about the details of the current situation. I get the impression that people are assuming I'm more knowledgeable about the people involved than I actually am? As far as I was aware, Ratio was 'some horrible person who was banned' and Frances was someone who came after that who I assumed was some kind of secondary account used to play around with people further, much as SaviorSephiroth created another account to do that to people. I thought people might like to know. Beyond that, I know nothing because I don't live in this place anymore. I've got more important things to do with my time than learn the ins and outs of your combative relationships with eachother.

I was actually hoping that I might be able to get back into Fig Hunter, that I could post more and stuff, particularly about my games, which this place is supposed to be about. But it's just not worth the hassle, really. I suppose I'll have to cut this tumour from my life once again in order to stay at least somewhat mentally healthy.

So congratulations for that, Fig Hunter. I'm so very glad I made this place.

Also, I have implemented temporary bans and applied week-long ones to several people who had changed their colour schemes to invalid values. At least they made themselves easy to find and apply those bans to, I suppose. Hopefully by the end of the week they'll have cooled down, but no, of course that's not going to happen, and they're just going to try and find ways to hurt me now with smirks on their oh-so-totally-capital-A-Accommodating faces. Sigh, you hold up a shield and they just kick you in the shins. Or you lock them out of your house and they just break in through the windows. Such lovely people that exist in the world...

Permanently banned members are marked with a !!, while temporarily banned ones are marked with !. You can see how long until the ban expires by hovering over the exclamation mark.

By the way, I've actually been trying hard (fighting against the headache) to work on AFC recently, and I've enjoyed making progress on it. I'd very much like to continue doing that, rather than maintaining this place. When I decided to become a Games Developer, I didn't exactly sign up for all this babysitting and padlocking. I only wish I were at least getting paid for it.
And by that I mean '*please* don't try and do something stupid to hurt me out of petty vengeance, because you're only delaying things for everyone if you do'. I just hope that nobody will be that selfish.
4 years ago

Re: Ban Reversal, Shocking Twists, etc

◊ Posted by A β Pseudolonewolf
Categories: The Site
Based on the results of the polls, it looks like !!  Ratio will not be getting back in, but !!  Heiveldboy perhaps will (which isn't what I'd prefer, but oh well).

An interesting thing has been brought to my attention regarding !!  Frances though, which I shall rather clumsily reveal to the whole world now because I do think it is highly relevant!

Apparently !!  Frances and !!  Ratio are exactly the same person! Or so I've been told.

I don't know what to make of this, since I barely know who !!  Ratio is at all, but I can certainly say that I'm not incredulous. I can believe it easily enough. Whether or not I should is a whole other matter, but maybe those of you who know this person or people or whatever can take it up with them and see what comes out of it all. Oh won't we all feel like such silly fools if it does transpire that we've been taken for a ride by our old pal Ratio, though, eh?! Especially since the poll shows most people hate him, while people are much more eager to defend someone as 'vulnerable' as Frances. I suppose that says good things about those defenders, perhaps, but it would indeed be a shame if they were duped.

I was actually told to keep this a secret, to avoid causing a commotion, but for one thing, if it's true, I don't think this person deserves the protection of a mask, and also, I actually get the feeling that some of you enjoy all this fiery drama despite what you say. It certainly keeps things interesting, don't you think? Yes. "Interesting". That's a word that's so often used in substitution of actual enjoyment. There has been a surprising number of new accounts recently though! Most of which are likely the same people making multiple accounts, but still! Numbers!!

Of course, all this could also just be someone trying to spread lies to stir things up even further or whatever (in which case I suppose they've succeeded, and I say 'they' not just to protect the identity of whoever sent me this information, but because names are meaningless at this point when it could be anyone behind them, masquerading as someone they want to hurt). I don't know. It's entirely possible, and I feel the need to say this in order to remain 'neutral', or at least not completely naive. There are all these weird grudges and personal little wars that go on, full of accusations and misinformation and slings and arrows and so forth, and I become caught up in the middle of them, and expected to take action when I neither know nor, quite frankly, care about the details or anything. I've got more important things to think about than why awsumD0de is angry at BULLETMASTA236 for impersonating his sister's dog and spreading nasty lies about his favourite flavour of ice cream and/or sex position or whatever. It's why I've tried to remain distant for a long time, so then I don't have to worry about it all any longer. It all seems so petty and ridiculous.

Frances is Ratio! Aufgen is Socdemparty! Pseudolonewolf is an octopus! A particularly mean one! And did you know he abhors the Inuits and has a disturbingly carnal fondness for stoats?!

I really, really wish though that there was some way that people had a distinct identity online that was tied to their real one, so then people couldn't make multiple accounts or hide in shadows or evade bans or any of this nonsense. This freedom of anonymity or being many people or mask wearing or what-have-you is such a pain for anyone trying to keep the peace. One disturbed egotist can play games with everyone, which isn't any fun for all those people when the truth comes out.

I've also recently heard that some sadistic trolls have been invading the community under different names? Trying to turn the tides of war in one direction or another for their own amusement, trying to turn people against me or "Frances" and so on and so forth and a big old sigh! Or others saying showing apparent joy at their ability to get under my skin. It's sad how some people can apparently only derive pleasure from shooting people down... I try so hard to make stuff (I'm bad at doing a quick job of it, but try is the keyword there I suppose!), and I get happiness from other peoples' enjoyment of my creations, so people who get off on others' pain really are the bane of my existence. Still, I suppose it's the sort of thing that people do when they don't have any good to contribute, so all I suppose you can do is pity them, right? Tut, tut.

Oh! Also. !!  Pixeldragon! She can come back, I suppose, but would she want to? Maybe I'll unban the account just to give her the option at least. Well, unless of course she's secretly, uh... HardcoreRockFan08 or Candide or whatever old trolls none of us can even remember anymore because they were either before your time or didn't leave quite as much of a mark as they'd hoped.

I'll do these unbannings 'later', by the way. Yes. 'Later'. Whenever that may be.

(I'd love to hear what Frances thought of Ratio and vice versa, by the way! But not enough to ask them, of course. Or him, as the case may be.)

Well, I've checked some trivial details, and they do strongly support the idea that Ratio is Frances (their birthdays are identical, they're both from uncertain locations, neither has an email address linked to their account, etc). Isn't that lovely? I bet it makes you feel all warm and fluffy inside. Suffice to say, I will not be unbanning Frances!!! Shocking, I know!!! I'm actually relieved that I don't have to weigh up the pros and cons of that decision or think about it any further, since the poll was annoyingly inconclusive (please feel free to alter your votes on the polls after hearing this, by the way; I'd love to see how they changed).

It does however lend some weight to my initial feeling when talking to Frances that it was 'another one of those frustrating young males from Fig Hunter'... since it turns out that it in fact was. Certainly not a lovely little INFJ girl, anyway! Also, yes, I realise it's unfair to feel that way about the whole of Fig Hunter. You can blame lovely people like this for making the site appear that way in my mind. And also for most of the recent bans, I think? I think he was crucial to the banning of several of them, actually. I'm sure you all have nice things to say to him, anyway, so I'll let you start doing that now.
4 years ago

Should I reverse the bans?

◊ Posted by A β Pseudolonewolf
Categories: The Site
I banned the five people who were 'weeded' all at once after a discussion with my moderators and other trusted people about who would best be removed from the community to make it nicer for everyone else; it's why Drake and Ratio were banned even though I knew basically nothing about them. Since I'm mostly detached from the community anyway these days, and these bans seem to have done more harm than good, it would be possible for me to reverse them if that would make the community happier.

Well, I'm willing to reverse some of them, at least.

I get the feeling that !!  SaviorSephiroth might not even be welcomed back anyway? He's done really horrible things, and they hurt others rather than me. So it seems unlikely that he's going to be unbanned.

I'm not going to unban !!  SelfReferential. No way. He's caused me too much pain. This is the only one where my own feelings matter more than anyone else's. I just don't want someone like that on my site. I can't bear it.

I don't like !!  Heiveldboy, but I think that's because he has Asperger's tendencies that just generally rub a sensitive delicate little flower like me the wrong way, even though they're 'not his fault'. I also think a big reason I banned him might have been because I was told that he was tormenting Frances or something? Perhaps it was even her who pushed most for his banning? Interesting how their fiery conflicts didn't earn them much scorn, while my own actions towards each of them did. But anyway.
(I could have horribly misremembered that, by the way, and accused people of things they didn't do, so if it's not true, then it's because I'm an idiot rather than because I'm trying to tarnish any names.)
If the community is willing to not just tolerate - but to appreciate and accept - Heiveldboy despite being how he is (and the poll suggests that this is the case, though I wonder if that's just because people are quick to defend a 'victim' whoever they are (as long as they're not me, anyway!!1)), then I will let him back in if he's even interested in that.

(Can you sense my bitterness, by the way?! Maybe not because it's JUST SO SUBTLE.)

I don't really know !!  Ratio enough to say anything about him, so it's up to the community to decide that. I just banned him because my moderators suggested it.

!!  Drake, however, has shown himself to be a sadistic monster who's not getting back in. Thankfully the poll shows that most people hate him anyway.

And then there's !!  Frances... I don't like Frances (this revelation surely comes as a shock, I know), and I do think that in many ways her sharing of my private thoughts was unforgivable. I hate her belligerent nature, victim mentality, and the way she turned so much of the community against me. But at the same time, I'm no saint; to her I was a bully because I was so ignorant of the issue that's caused her so much torment. I see how I embodied things that have caused her so much pain and anger over the years. I don't want to interact with her, but at the same time I can understand that others might, and that I caused her pain in the same way that she caused me pain, and, well, it's all such a messy situation anyway. If she's willing to return and people want her to, then I can reluctantly grit my teeth and allow it.

!!  Pixeldragon was banned alongside !!  Frances, and I didn't really comment on that. She was the one who shared my private thoughts with Frances, betraying my trust, and that, too, seems unforgivable. But I can certainly say that I failed to be the friend she wanted several years ago when we actually talked a bit, due to innumerable faults of my own, and if Frances was able to fill that role much more adequately than I ever could, then it stands to reason that Pixeldragon would defend this new ally from whatever nasty, unfair things she saw me saying about her. I hate it, and it hurts so much, what happened, but what good does cutting people down really do, anyway? It just makes everyone feel worse. If she wants to return, then she can... though not to my other site, of course, only here.

Perhaps these people don't even want to get back in; being banned must hurt a lot, and maybe their opinion of this place is far too tainted by that. Maybe they hate me too much to be part of anything I'm involved in. But I do realise that a community has built up here, and fractures in any community are a bad and horrible thing... I don't want to be the cause of conflicts, of separated friends, of unnecessary drama... especially if I'm only going to be hiding away in my little cave anyway. If I'm not amidst the community, does it really matter to me who they are? Their views matter more than mine, in that case. Your views, I mean.

It's important to me to try to minimise harm, and I don't consider myself infallible. So these bans, which I thought were a good idea, seem not to have been, and as such I'm willing to reverse that if it might soothe any pain.

I think I'll start some other forum polls asking people which of these members should be unbanned, and I'll make my decision based on those.