Comment History

on 727 Roots

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Forum: PLEASE READ: Feeling Forum Rules
Pseudolonewolf
8

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Thinking and Feeling people can have very different preferences for the sorts of feedback that they receive when speaking about any topic.

If a Feeler speaks about a personal issue, then she most likely wants to hear emotional support, empathy, sympathy, and so on. Venting in itself is the 'solution' to the problem; she just wants to 'get it off her chest'. When others offer advice and suggestions about how to 'solve' this issue, it can be frustrating as it seems insensitive.

Similarly, a Feeler may bring up a topic that she found interesting simply for the pleasure of sharing something with others, and might not exactly want this thing to be criticised or discussed objectively. Such things can make the sensitive Feeler feel hurt and frustrated. Not everyone wants to be told how they're wrong about every little thing they do or say, or to hear how someone doesn't like their favourite things.

Threads about any topic can be started here, but keep in mind that by posting here, you're requesting that people reply with support, empathy, or encouraging interest rather than advice, criticism, and debate. Be prepared!

You don't need to be a Feeler to post here, of course, but you should know to expect these kinds of posts!
Forum: PLEASE READ: Thinking Forum Rules
Pseudolonewolf
3

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Thinking and Feeling people can have very different preferences for the sorts of feedback that they receive when speaking about any topic.

If a Thinker speaks about a personal issue, then he most likely wants to hear suggestions for how to solve the problem. He may be frustrated by people merely saying things like 'I know how that is' or 'I hope you get better' because they offer no solution; they are 'useless'.

Similarly, a Thinker may bring up a topic in order to discuss its merits and shortcomings, welcoming contrasting opinions and the 'conflict' of discussion and debate, as this allows him to learn more about the topic, all the while remaining comfortable, analytical and detached.

Threads about any topic can be started here, but keep in mind that by posting here, you're essentially asking for advice, contrasting opinions, or objective analysis of the topic. Be prepared!

You don't need to be a Thinker to post here, of course, but you should know to expect these kinds of posts!
Blog: Site Changes
Pseudolonewolf
0

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Again, it's a 'Thinky male' saying this sort of thing. The system might be appealing to you for the reasons that you mentioned, but I'm sure (that is, I've heard directly) that it's repellent to, for example, emotionally sensitive young girls who don't want their every word to be scrutinised and assessed.

Since they're the audience that I'm eager to make this place welcoming to, I have already removed FLIGS in the new version of the site and added this new ♥ thing.
Blog: Site Changes
Pseudolonewolf
0

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I would have thought that having a part of the forum specifically for 'feeling' sorts of replies (like "I know how that is!" rather than "What you should do is this..."), and another for sharing creative works, would have at least some appeal to such people.

I wish that I could do more to attract the people that I want to attract, but I have so much to do all the time that I'll have to hope that these things will be enough to make the site at least somewhat interesting.
Blog: Site Changes
Pseudolonewolf
0

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I wondered if the way that I wrote that would be interpreted this way...!

I hate 'fluff' comments too... The minimum character limit is something I can't see myself ever removing. I can't stand other websites most of the time because the comments never go into detail.

However, it is possible, apparently, to go into detail without being critical in any way, shape or form.

For example, if I were to emotionally vent about some latest problem of mine, I'd hate it if someone simply said 'oh no, that's terrible' with no elaboration... Not because they hadn't 'helped' me, but because they didn't seem to care beyond writing a stock comment; it's almost insulting. The brevity would be the irritating bit.

However, I'd also get annoyed by comments that attempted to 'fix my problem' by giving my advice.

What I'd appreciate would be not-short comments - even just a few sentences - that showed that they really took the time to read what I said and could empathise with it, by sharing 'context-sensitive' thoughts about the feelings that I'd expressed, and perhaps sharing similar experiences of their own to show that they really understood and know what it's like. I would not want 'help' or 'critique', because being understood would mean so much more to me.

So yes... I will be very much frowning upon short comments, but I also want to make the point that 'constructively critical' comments aren't always welcome or helpful, and a post doesn't have to be critical to be long.
Blog: The Trees and the Forest
Pseudolonewolf
0

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I've moved through a few personality systems now because they all seem to really 'hit the spot'!

First I learned about the temperaments, and felt almost teary reading about the Melancholic temperament, because it really fit me...
I learned about introversion and extroversion at some point, too, and felt relief and understanding that there was a reason that I 'didn't socialise enough' and that it didn't mean that there was anything 'wrong with me' and things like that. It explained a whole lot...
Then I found Myers-Briggs, and could relate deeply to INFJ.
Then came the Enneagram, and the 4w5 hit perhaps hardest of all.

Each one has been a great experience full of self-discovery and relief, as well as understanding of why certain people act the way they have towards me and things like that.
It's also interesting that none of them really 'replace' the others, and they all come together to describe different facets of one complex whole.
Blog: Site Changes
Pseudolonewolf
0

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Something that bothered me about FLIGS is that I often wanted to say 'thank you' to all the posts that I read, but didn't necessarily feel that they deserved a +G rating... Or I'd generally like a post, but wouldn't know what to rate it. Or I'd worry about my own posts getting a +G but not a +I; "wasn't it interesting enough? D:"

So while a generic 'like' thing is indeed more bland... it'll also probably make it much easier to use in general. I've been using a similar system on another (private) site of mine for a while now, and I 'like' posts a lot more than I ever gave positive FLIGS ratings and generally prefer the system overall.
Blog: Site Changes
Pseudolonewolf
0

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You as an INTP adult male might find the negative ratings more useful than annoying, but how might an emotionally sensitive teenage girl feel about having every stray thought that she dares to volunteer scrutinised and assessed by a bunch of strangers? It seems that it's an appealing system to a certain sort of person, but terrifying to others (who happen to be more on my own wavelength).

The air of 'elitism' about the site has bothered me for ages... I don't want to scare away people or enforce strict behaviour codes... I won't tolerate people being mean, but I no longer think it's right to shoot people down for what are essentially idiosyncrasies, which happened a lot on the 'old' site... I want the environment here to be 'enjoyable' rather than 'challenging'.

It'll probably be possible to 'report' posts, and it'd record how many people had reported any given post so that if that post had more than 3+hearts reports, it'd be hidden or something. However, the 'report' button might be out of the way, and there'd be no total actually shown or anything. Maybe.
Blog: Site Changes
Pseudolonewolf
0

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I won't tolerate people being 'jerks' anywhere on the site, so even in the 'Thinky' section it won't be tolerated to shoot people down aggressively. The main difference between the two rooms would be that it would be okay to (politely) disagree with or advise someone in the 'Thinky' one, and not okay to do those things or be 'constructively critical' in the other.

For example, if a thread was started saying something like "I feel really miserable right now", if it was in the 'Thinky' bit, it might invite invite responses like "have you tried X?", while if in the 'Feely' bit, it might invite replies like "oh no, that's terrible! I can relate to that because X happened to me recently... Hope you get better soon!"

I've noticed that Thinky people would generally consider the latter response 'useless' while Feely people might consider the former one 'frustrating and insensitive'. Having different places where you can reliably get the sort of feedback that's useful rather than frustrating to you seems appealing to me.
Blog: Site Changes
Pseudolonewolf
0

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I think that posts like this show how alien the 'Thinking' approach is compared to my own... When someone is seeking emotional support, they are not looking for 'constructive' comments. They don't want their 'problems' to be 'solved', and they don't want to be 'critiqued' in order to achieve that. This is perhaps the biggest and most frustrating difference between these two modes of thought for me personally... In a blog post a while ago, I quoted this, which was said (by someone who's not me) in a personality forum in a thread called 'You know you're a Feeler when...':

Quote:
When you have to explain to your T friends over and over that people who are venting or verbally processing do not need or want solutions from you, instead they want you to empathize with them.


It might be difficult to enforce the kind of posting that I'd really want, yes... but I want to at least give it a try because that's better than doing nothing. Hopefully.