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A question for the guys...
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Zazax
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Zazax 27 Canada MelancholicPhlegmatic INTJ 4w5 85C
Having been hilariously and perpetually single my entire life so far, I can only speculate, so this is all theoretical.

That said, I have never been attracted to the stereotypical 'biker chick' character/attitude/whatever. Now, don't take that the wrong way; I don't at all mind if a girl is capable of beating the snot out of someone twice my size (which would be impressive, as I'm not a small person). It's just when the 'hardcore' bit is such an overwhelmingly large portion of their personality that it irks me somewhat. I'm a fairly gentle person (... usually), and that sort of personality in *anyone*, male or female, makes me uncomfortable and not want to be around them.

On the other hand, I'm not sure how much I'd be attracted to the second girl in your scenario either. I tend to be a bit detached from my emotions and am not very good at offering emotional support because of it (this is, in fact, the single greatest worry I have about ever starting a relationship), so I'm not sure how attractive an option someone sensitive (and therefore requiring such emotional support on at least some level) would be to me. I really have no idea; as I said, this is all just conjecture.

However, I feel as if I'm rambling off-topic. Of the two options, I'm definitely more attracted to shy, introverted and sensitive than brash, extroverted and tough, at least at first glance. I'm one of those people who thinks about *everything* they do before they do it and would probably (whether I'm correct in my guesses or otherwise) try to include said girl's attraction to myself as a variable when determining this sort of thing. Which is probably one of the big reasons I'm still single, now that I think about it.
Dupin
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I suppose I'll start by offering a rundown of my thought process upon entering the restaurant of your example. Of course, if I were to actually give my brain the time needed to think through each step of these conclusions, I would probably be standing awkwardly in the doorway of the restaurant for longer than would be socially acceptable, and then, not wanting to risk things by appearing overly awkward, would begin to walk (but likely not directly, so as to avoid inadvertently appearing as one of those overconfident dominant types) toward the second girl, with my brain hopefully catching up to me and verifying my initial impression by the time I said anything to her. But that's getting ahead of myself.

To be perfectly honest, the boots, and outfit in general, would probably cause me to look at the first girl first. It would also, though, cause the thought to flicker across my mind that that's likely her intention - very few people *actually* wear trenchcoats. At the risk of following stereotypes, I would likely look at her hairstyle to try to get at least some idea of her personality. If she had some obviously feminine hairstyle (say, long curled blond hair), I would almost immediately dismiss her as someone simply playing the part of the 'tough girl' because they think it's what guys are currently attracted to. If she had a hairstyle more fitting with the sense of personality conveyed by her outfit, it would seem logical that that was her actual personality, as supported by the gun-carrying-aura. However, the boots-and-leather-and-trenchcoat look encompasses two significantly different personalities: the Trinity-esque emotionless control and the Black Widow-esque snark and cleverness/manipulation. The former seems likely to go along with a dominant personality that it would be exceedingly tough to form an adequately balanced relationship with. While the latter may be prone to layers-of-manipulation battles for control, that can be its own interesting form of balance, if matched with someone who can read the manipulation or employ their own. At this point, though, it would be wise to consider the situation. Regardless of a potentially interesting personality (and that's certainly no sure thing), she's at a restaurant, alone, carrying a gun, and drinking. Considering that plenty of people find that outfit-style attractive (and I wouldn't limit 'people' to 'guys' either - it seems quite possible that someone fitting the given description is dismissive of guys entirely), if she wanted to be talking to someone, she probably would be already. Also, the drinking would likely mean she's not in the best of moods (someone wearing that outfit would be much more likely to drink to drown sorrows than to 'loosen up', as supported by the shot glass as opposed to a beer), not to mention significantly older than me. Given those conclusions, as well as the somewhat slim chance of a good personality match, I would walk past her, possibly trying to catch her eye to see if I could determine anything more about her from her expression if I was walking from an angle where that wouldn't be particularly out of my way, mentally noting to consider talking to her some other day when she was in a better mood if there seemed to be a reasonable chance that she had the snarky, clever personality previously mentioned.

The second girl would make a much more favorable impression. The art-pad would indicate creativity, a welcome trait, or the pet-hair-dusting would indicate compassion as well as reinforcing that she was not specifically trying to appear attractive, which would also be a good sign for her personality. She would also give the impression of being comfortable with her own personality, as opposed to the first girl, for whom the outfit could be an attempt to mask true personality instead of a reflection of it. And, to be perfectly honest, she would seem much more approachable (the art-pad would even offer an easy route into conversation). Considering the reasons why she would be at the restaurant, it would seem quite possible that she has a shy personality and is trying (like I would probably be doing in the given scenario) to figure out ways to meet people. I would, without a doubt, walk over and talk to her. I would worry that she might be too submissive for an adequately balanced relationship, but the best way to determine that would be through conversation, and if that was the case, she could still be a good friend.

So, uh, there! I've overanalyzed your scenario to death, and I'm not sure if I've even answered your question! xD

I would say that the recent increase in the 'modern-strong-woman' stereotype is an over-application of a positive movement. As traditional gender roles are becoming less applicable, it's also leading to the realization that the relationship dynamic of one-person-dominant-one-person-submissive, while effective for some personalities, is extraordinarily ineffective for personality types that prefer a more balanced relationship. So, at close to the same time, the places where dominant-personality women fit into relationships are becoming more recognized (in a balanced relationship with a dominant personality or in a dominant-submissive relationship with a submissive personality), and so the media is over-focusing on these personalities because they've been underrepresented before, while ignoring the fact that the other personalities do still (and must continue to) exist.

As for me, because my personality is somewhat conflicted regarding the dominance/submission spectrum, that difference in itself doesn't make as much difference for me as it likely does for other people. However, I find that introverted types tend to have more in common with me in terms of shared interests and lifestyle. And, to go back to your original distinction, insensitivity bothers me. So, I would generally prefer the "more traditional, sensitive, 'softer' chick" to the "hardcore, independent chick" because those traits tend to be associated with a personality type that I prefer, though I have known (and been attracted to) "hardcore, independent chick"s that have the kinds of personalities I like. In your example, based on what I could gather about the personalities of the two girls from first impressions, I would most certainly talk to the second girl. However, it might well turn out, if I had the chance to talk to each of them, that the first girl's personality was a better fit for mine.

And I'm sorry that I have to conclude this wall of text by saying "It all depends" in answer to the poll question, but that's really the most honest answer I can give, and hopefully my thoughts still offer some insight.
breadandbutter
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Well- I'm sure there is such a thing as badass AND sensitive... ever hear of Tsundere?
Personally, I've never met a purely 'badass' sort of girl, but then again they'd probably be hanging out with other 'badass' kids. I've seen the sensitive ones and dear god, they are such emotional wrecks on Facebook and in school.
I chose the "other" choice since from what you're asking seems to be whether or not I'd judge someone based on their appearance. A purely badass chick in my mind would probably, like some have said, rip off my pitiful jewels. But a "sensitive" girl would be put off by my natural aloofness. I'd like a girl who is willing to open up her emotions to me while maintaining a sensible composure towards herself-being able to control herself.

... That sounded horrible. Rephrasing, the girls I enjoy hanging out with can express their inner emotions to me and not give off the impression that she is completely helpless. I want to understand the people I love, but not be completely burdened by their personal issues.
I hope that makes sense. Yes, I do know people-not just girls-who are like this.
Faoladh
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Faoladh 22 United States MelancholicPhlegmatic INFJ 6w5 119C
Yes, looking back on my original post, I'm afraid the whole 'scenario' thing wasn't well-thought out: I made the women too polarized, not quite what I was going for. I merely wanted to insert stereotypes so people'd have a baseline for what I was talking about, but I wasn't very clear about it. ...It seems I should've just defined my terms instead XD

Obviously women, and everyone, for that matter, aren't stereotypes or caricatures. They're individual and complex. In general terms, though, by 'badass' I meant tough and independent.

By 'emotional/sensitive' I meant a softer, gentler personality.

And no, you didn't sound horrible--I knew what you meant! XD ...There are always those people who take more than they give. 'Needy,' I guess. I have nothing against that when the person can't help it--i.e. emotional trauma, it's just their nature, etc. Some of us just need more support than others. Now, when someone's whining for attention, THAT'S when I get ticked :P
Heiveldboy
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I think my personal choice would be a mixture of both because, to be honest, I look more so at a healthy relationship than at a person these days. But, this has become a defense mechanism which I feel I must explain.

I've had a lot of trouble in my past with relationships ( non-sexual ones) and with talking to people and forming bonds. I've had countless 'friendships' that failed because I either didn't know what to do or the other wanted to profit from me without knowing it. As a result I felt horrible all the time, always so happy at the chance of 'gaining another friend', but always depressed whenever it appeared I was pointless, meaningless and so on to them. As a result I had and have become withdrawn, trying to protect myself from harm. It's also one of the MANY reasons that the notion of me being in a relationship sounds ludicrous, something to mock, to belittle and etc.
But what this means at this moment is that I trust VERY few people ( I can count them on one hand) and that my trust is VERY, VERY, VEEEEERRRRYYYY hard to get. A few kind words mean nothing to me anymore, only actions that truly show you consider me slightly less important than yourself. As a result a kind person can say whatever she wants to me, it won't matter if I don't get the feeling it's the truth and that she really cares about me. The same can be sad for the tough woman. She can be tough, provoke me all she want and try to explain she cares about me. If I don't feel it, I don't feel it. Tough luck, but at this point in my life I prefer to think about my own well-being first.

But the sad story aside I'll explain my choice in another way: I don't like the tough, 'I'll kill you', independent kind of 'chick' who has sex with every person and who wants to be free, but neither do I really like the very soft, very meek, kind girl. Neither really feel that promising to me.
HOWEVER, I have to admit that I'm more attracted to kindness than I am to toughness. I'm what people call a 'teddybear', the kind of person that likes signs of affections ( hugs and such) and that wants to feel love, not constantly beg my girlfriend to show a glimpse of it. But then again, I also live with the belief that love and happiness alone is not enough to live a worthy life. I have to admit it's rather difficult to live with such conflicting beliefs...
That's why I think I want a bit of both. A nice girl, who dreams, is interested in art and who actively thinks of my own well-being, but who also wants, or rather expects, the same of me, who is my equal rather than submissive and such. I want a girl that can be dependent, that doesn't want to be with me 24/7 so that I can be alone or spend time doing what I want, a girl that will think of herself as well and not only think about my happiness.

In other words, I ask WAY too much for what I have to offer...

But to answer your original question: I would probably go to neither as I'm rather afraid of going to women (or anyone for that matter) all on my own with no motivation or reason to go there. But if I were pressed, I would probably go to the second girl, because she seems more interesting from the way you've described her.
poisonpen
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poisonpen 18 United States MelancholicCholeric ISTJ 594 4C
I said the second, softer type since that'd fit me better. I don't like being controlled. But really, I need a mix - a girl who is independent so I don't do everything for her, but who knows to ask for help when truly needed. I don't like those extremes, more the tough, badass chick than the sensitive, quiet girl. Seeing as I've never been in a relationship, that's the kind of girl I dream about - a sweet girl who has a bit of toughness and a bit of sensitivity.
Ambilarious
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I picked "Other".

I prefer a woman that isn't completely macho (I wouldn't want to be completely macho either) but still isn't a stereotype of a crying maiden.

To be completely honest, I also don't put much thought into who I'll be dating or have dated. The only thing I actually care about is if I like her. The best way to have a good time dating someone is to simply follow your...gut feeling? Heart? Prefrontal Cortex? Who knows!