Bio

I am the creator of this site! I'm a 22-year-old English introverted male with long hair and a silly beard who wears black all the time. I make Flash games, music, and, rarely, drawings...

I'm very bitter.

And I tend to be very wordy (like in this bio...) because I feel that there's a lot to be said, and I value communication. I always want to know what goes through other peoples' minds, and I like to volunteer my own thoughts in as much detail as possible so that people who are curious can be given what they want... Or something. I'd never talk about myself so much elsewhere, but here, I'm writing a lot because I feel that people who come to this site of mine via games of mine might be curious to know about the sort of person behind it all. I know I would be...

Oh, and I use a lot of ellipses (...) and 'uh' and things like that because I'm so unsure of myself all the time; I don't like speaking with confidence and certainty because I'm not really confident or certain about anything, really.

The silly unique class name that I have on this site is what it is not because of some rampant egotism, but because I find it amusingly over-the-top...

I'm Neutral Good, but I'm not always nice to everyone, because niceness and the will to do Good aren't related... I'm a pacifist and the things that I hate the most are people inflicting themselves on others to cause them unpleasantness or similar; most of my hates - and there are a lot of them because I'm a very hateful person, not that that's a GOOD thing but I don't CHOOSE to be this way - are based around people doing things to other people that those other people might not appreciate... So generally I act unpleasant to people if their attitudes or actions go against what I feel is the Greater Good, and I seem to have high standards for such things. TOO high, probably, I realise...

I am NEUTRAL Good and not Lawful Good because, even though the Rules of this site may make me a hypocrite for saying this, I hate it when people tell others what to do. I feel that it is necessary however to PREVENT people from doing stupid things, and I hate the chaotic "you CAN'T tell me what to do!", living by one's own desires with disregard for other people... Neutrality is the middle ground in this, and I feel that the most GOOD solution always be chosen, whether chaotic or lawful. If a law hurts and hinders people, I'm against it, and if there needs to be a law to stop people hurting or hindering others, I'm for it.

I probably seem arrogant and stuck-up, especially since I hate so many things that people like and seem strict on the rules of this site in regards to grammar and such, but I try to do it all for Good reasons... I hate how language skills in general are degenerating, and don't wish that to happen because language is such a beautiful thing, and good communication skills are the most important aspect of peaceful coexistence with others. I want to encourage people to THINK more, to be more careful about how they type and the content of what they type, hence the things like violations and worth and such.
Also, I probably seem more arrogant and full of myself on this site because I do sort of OWN the place... Elsewhere, I'm really meek and, well, I don't even join other forums because I don't want to intrude... I hate it when people do that to me, and I try to live by the 'Golden Rule' (act as you'd want other people acting towards you), in terms of actions if not necessarily attitude... This place IS my 'home on the internet' though, and I built it all myself from scratch and spend a lot of time here. You are guests in my domain here, so I'd expect that you'd at least be respectful of the rules, the other guests, and myself, in the same way that you'd (hopefully) be if you were a guest in someone's house.

I'm very strongly opinionated on a lot of things, since I think a lot and care deeply about the state of the world and the effects of others' actions, so, uh, I tend to argue. I do this not to put people down and elevate myself personally (as a choleric might), but to try to correct some of the wrongness in the world in what little way I can... I base my opinions on logic, rationality and the Greater Good, generally, rather than just on personal 'I feel this should be so' sort of things. (Though I bet that's not accurate! o_O)

I love the idea of the Four Temperaments, and I've been studying them for a long time so I know a lot about them, and can generally identify peoples' temperaments by listening to them talk for a while (since due to their nature, temperaments become predictable and two people with the same temperaments tend to sound very alike, so being used to them, I can recognise these patterns)...
I basically epitomise the melancholic temperament in my attitude (when I was first introduced to the temperaments, I became so enamoured with the concept because I'd always thought I had a 'unique personality', but the description of the 'Melancholy Temperament' was like reading a specific and accurate-in-every-way profile of myself; it even predicted that I'd think I was the only one with my personality!), and for a long time I had just that as my temperament, but I realise that my secondary temperament is phlegmatic, though many people would surely get the impression it's 'choleric' due to lack of understanding of the temperaments concept (my REASONS for doing things are not choleric), and the fact that I act different on this site than I do elsewhere because I'm in a position of power here and it is my domain. Elsewhere, I'm not assertive at all, and I'm quite submissive, but here, things need to be KEPT RIGHT, so I need to do that myself...

I focus a lot on the negatives, and barely, if at all, on the positives in things. If I receive 99 comments of praise hailing me as a god from adoring fangirls who want to have my babies, and one single, poorly-written comment of abuse or displeasure from some 12-year-old boy, I'd probably 'ignore' the praise and dwell too much on the negative comment, TRYING to not let it get to me but it would anyway. Please keep this in mind when commenting on my stuff... I don't ask you to never be critical - since that's the best sort of feedback for improving things - but just think "how would I feel if I received a comment like the one that I am writing?" or something, or if you don't like something, try to say calmly WHY instead of just flinging around abuse. (This is something that everyone should do everywhere...)

I'm an atheist, almost 'anti-theist', but I try to remain open-minded. I do not think that it is right that people should just be allowed to choose to believe whatever rubbish they want because that's an entirely wrong way of thinking; we should not believe what we WANT, but what is demonstrably TRUE. I debate religion often because of this; I want people to be aware of their closed-minded and delusional way of thinking, because I feel that such thought hinders the race, especially if it spills over into other matters in life... I do NOT argue just to show that I am right and better than the other person for not being so stupid, or anything like that.

I have my religion listed not as atheist but as "pantheist?" because I've been doing some 'soul searching' in the last year or two, and have realised that MATERIALISM - which most passionate and vocal atheists would ascribe to - is just as limited and annoying to me as theism, because both proclaim a sort of absolute knowledge about the universe. One says that God DEFINITELY did it, the other says that there is DEFINITELY nothing beyond the material universe... I've seen a lot of compelling things that suggest there's some kind of life after death (though it seems different to what most religions claim), with the materialist 'explanations' for these things generally being 'hand waving'... I find it curious, and wish to study it more rather than accepting anything on blind faith or hope or just mocking and ignoring things out of personal incredulity.

I can't work with other people, and because of this, I haven't ever had a 'real job' and making Flash games is actually something I do in the desperate hope that I can make a living from this without ever having to interact with other people in a work environment... I, uh... have an anxiety disorder thing, and probably Avoidant Personality Disorder, you see, which makes it difficult for me to even go outside a lot of the time, and would make working with others potentially even fatal... o_O
Apart from that, I also feel that my ideas are, uh... incompatible with other peoples'? In a lot of ways, I feel that I'm not 'above' others but 'aside' from them; I've always felt that I've been different from the rest of people my age in my views, interests, mannerisms, etc. I'd make no claims to being unique, however, because I realise that many introverted people feel this way - many of you on this site likely do - but I do realise that being this way doesn't exactly let one fit in comfortably amongst the crowds of 'normal people'...
My ideas and preferences for my own games would likely conflict with any more 'normal' people that I may work with, and also, I only work on my own games because they mean so much to me... They're personal expressions of myself, 'art', as the FAQ says, but if I were to work on part of a game with someone else, or have others work on a game of mine with me, it wouldn't be the same... It'd be Building a Product, almost soulless, and I'd find it hard to get motivated and stressful to be told what to do because I'd feel incapable of living up to expectations... A big fault of mine is refusing to do things because I don't think I'd do them well enough, or even shunning people before they have a chance to get to know and hate me, being the wretched person that I am. o_O

I hate the nation of America - the USA - but, before you people who just happen to have been born there start hating me back in some angry rage for feeling this way, I'll explain my reasoning. I hate the nation, but NOT individuals. People have no choice where they are born, so I don't just hate people immediately BECAUSE they are American. It'd be hard to be that way on the internet, where most people I come across are from the USA or Canada (ugh... I feel so alienated by this fact). I do, however, hate not the POLITICS of the country - I care little about politics in general - but of the general attitude that it and its people give off to the rest of the world. That of bigoted arrogance and so on and so forth, thinking that they're the BEST or even the ONLY nation in the world and that, if they know of countries outside their borders at all, they're likely to see them as little islands full of people with silly accents and clothing and customs. Caricatures. It could be said that I see America the same way, but what many Americans don't seem to realise is that while media from other countries exists in their country as a sort of rare novelty, American media dominates things like film, television and music in the UK and Australia (I've lived in both places), so we're all exposed to a lot of American stuff. I just hate feeling like America is this big, smug bully in the playground who thinks he's the best and should be able to push others around, be able to meddle in others' affairs, and to be looked at and adored while he looks over the heads of everyone else... America may not realise that it seems this way since they don't really know what it's like to see it from the outside (and American pride seems to be such that any criticism isn't allowed, and is responded to with anger or something rather than fair "perhaps things are this way and we need to change"...), but I DO see it from the outside all the time, and I find it intimidating, superficial, and, well, just annoying. I repeat, however, that I don't hate people BECAUSE they are American; I just don't like the country 'as a whole'.

I also hate 'Americanisms' in language, because I love the ENGLISH LANGUAGE - named after ENGLAND, not America - and Americans just abuse and misuse it, shaping it to their fancy... There are more 'Americanisms' than just "color and not colour" and such. Many are illogical things of grammar (which the rest of the world is picking up due to the prevalence of American media, and this gradual assimilation is one of the main reasons that I hate it), and then there are also stupid things like that nonsensical date format (month/day/year... Why don't they also write the time as minutes:seconds:hours? It makes as much sense)... I just find many Americanisms crass, jarring or illogical, though I am aware this is nothing other than bitter preference and I cannot say that British English is absolutely better than the American version.

Hmm... What else? Oh, I should mention that I'm self-taught in all my creative pursuits, especially programming, so if you want to make games, I encourage you to teach yourself too! I'll add more here if I think of things...

I wrote a lot about myself in this thread here: [LINK]

I only just realised that I didn't explain my name here! 'Pseudo' is a word that basically means 'fake', 'imitation', 'not as it appears to be', etc. There's a pokemon called 'SUDOWOODO' because it's a 'pseudo-tree' - it looks like one but isn't - and there are things like 'pseudo-science' which 'look like' science but aren't. The term 'lone wolf' is a thing in itself; my name doesn't actually refer to the animal as such. A 'lone wolf' is basically a loner, but I like the term because I do like wolves to a degree. I used to have a character in some of my game ideas called 'Lone Wolf'...
But anyway, I'm basically, then, an 'imitation loner', because I've always liked and wanted to think of myself as a loner, due to being introverted and not liking socialising or anything... But I'm also pathetically dependent when it comes to things like even taking care of myself!!1 o_O
I'm timid and lack the confidence to make decisions myself if they involve some kind of interaction with people in Real Life, so I struggle when I have to do things because I just assume I'm doing them wrong and people will look at me like I'm stupid, and I have an Anxiety Disorder which just makes that all worse... SO BASICALLY, my name is saying that I like to be alone, to an extent, but cannot SURVIVE alone. I like feedback from my endeavours, and instead am not social because I struggle with it rather than because I decide that I don't need it... So, uh... hopefully that's some kind of clear?!

Also! While updating my age on this bio from 21 to 22, I've decided to add something else that I've had on my mind for a while. Or rather, I've been passionate about it for much longer, but it's just recently that I was thinking of adding it to my bio.
UFOs! I am interested in those and other such paranormal things, apparently. It may seem silly for me to be a fervent atheist who cites rationalism and evidence as the only reasons that I'll 'believe in' anything yet to not mockingly dismiss ufology and the paranormal, but, uh, I don't know if I really take it 'seriously' as such; it's more like I'm 'open to the idea'. I'm similarly open to the idea of deities; it's just that I don't think that there's evidence of the supposed *character* of certain deities like Yahweh who have definite recorded traits which just never show themselves.
It makes sense to me that there may be alien life watching us, though I wouldn't necessarily believe in the 'greys' or anything like that. Apparently strange sky lights that sound like UFOs have been recorded throughout history; they're not just a modern American cultural phenomenon.
People say 'but if they're aliens, why would they bother travelling all this way for billions of years just to see US?', but that seems to me to be really narrow-minded or something, and it seems that such people implicitly think that they'd be here to look at us *specifically* as if we're special in some way. We're not. As of the present day, scientists think that light speed cannot be exceeded, and people can only seem to conceive of travel through the vacuum of space at a maximum speed of just close to c. But scientists in the modern age HARDLY know all that there is to know about the universe! Alien races that have existed for thousands or even MILLIONS of years longer than we have may well have come up with travel that would allow them to get across the galaxy very quickly, either by exceeding c in some way or, more likely, by bending and warping space or even by travelling through 'other dimensions' or something like that. Who knows? Our science would seem like magic to people in the Middle Ages, so I'm sure their science would seem equally incomprehensible to us.
And if there ARE alien races with such technology out there, then it stands to reason that at least one might explore other worlds, and they might keep track of those with life for all kinds of valid reasons. They could be watching us to see how we develop, out of pure curiosity, or for *security* reasons. We're basically barbarians. We still have wars, racism still exists, many people are arrogant and vile and sadistic and so on. We're wretched creatures, and if we got into space, we'd surely just wage war on other races if we found any, and we'd be a threat, a danger. Probably. It could be that aliens are making sure that we DON'T get into space until we're ready, and they'd welcome us when we were? It would make sense, anyway. It'd be why they've never contacted us; they don't WANT us to know about them because they'd be influencing our society and it could be like a 'Prime Directive' sort of thing.
I don't know what to think of the idea of some ridiculous *global conspiracy* that 'The Government' - as if there is ONE world government - is keeping from the people. It is very probable that something like 'we know that aliens are watching us and there's absolutely nothing we can do about it, and also we don't know their motives' would be unwise for any government to say, though. It'd show that they're weak and helpless for one thing, which would lead people to doubt that they're any use at all; they'd lose power and authority and trust or something. Similarly, there may be mass panic, since people would be paranoid about this unseen watchers who could destroy us at any time. Also, religions might be affected greatly by it; many are based around the idea that we're the only life in the universe, and the presence of 'ETs' would disprove that.
So anyway, there are a load of reasons to think that aliens could be watching us, so I'm very open to the idea.

A lot of people seem to ask me why I have 'guitars' on my Dislikes list, as if it's so very strange that anyone could have anything but love for such things. So I'll explain that here...
There are many reasons that I hate them. First and foremost is because everyone else seems to really love them and for irritating reasons; they represent a kind of 'coolness' that I've always hated, and they're representative of most forms of modern music that I can't stand (like metal and rock and what-have-you). I hate electric guitars most of all because they are doubly associated with such music and attitudes and so on.
In many ways, guitars in the modern era are seen as a symbol as much as a *thing*. How many people think of the guitar in the same way as the flute, the trombone, the triangle? Who, when choosing an instrument to specialise in, picks the guitar by sheer 'random chance' or obscure preference, or because they like it solely as an instrument? Few, I'd bet; most people choose it because it represents this kind of 'coolness' that I hate.
People who play the guitar *are* 'cool', in an objective sense of the word, in modern culture. Many people then end up 'playing' the guitar poorly just to show off, to 'pick up chicks', and so on and so forth. Basically every teen and his or her dog seems to have interest in playing the guitar for these reasons, more than they'd have interest in, say, the violin or the flugelhorn. Who'd think you're *cool* for playing one of those?
There's also just something about the thing as an instrument that bothers me. I can't stand the sound of the electric guitar... I like calm and melodic music as that suits my personality; I admire beauty. Genres with names like 'grunge' are able to arise due to the cacophonous screeching of the electric guitar; it really hurts my ears and makes me sick to the stomach hearing its mere sound. Eugh. Disgusting. Makes me wonder if people have any sense of hearing if they LIKE how those things sound!
The acoustic guitar can sound much nicer though, if played well. But most guitars aren't played well at all. People tend to use them just for 'chords' or something, I've noticed; far from some admirable complexity of music that I'd admire and be inspired by. Whether or not these chords are difficult to physically play is meaningless.
I've used various kinds of guitar in my own music, so I can understand their uses. But I do hate guitars as a symbol, a thing, something that people want so then they can be COOL and so on. Ugh.