Comment #23837

Forum: A question for the guys...
Faoladh
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Faoladh 22 United States MelancholicPhlegmatic INFJ 6w5 119C
I suppose I've got elements of both. Yes, I used to be a shy, sensitive, bookish sort of person--and I still am! But in the past year I've had a lot of...I'll use the polite word, hardship...come at me all at once, and that's changed me, upon reflection.

For one, I grew a bit sick of everyone about me treating me in a condescending way, as though quietness or introversion was a handicap, as though if they spoke too loudly or addressed me as an adult, I'd shatter. There was a point when, as a near-adult, I was simply insulted at being addressed as a child. That fueled things. But, being a sensitive, introverted person, I've always been pretty in-tune with everything around me. And when that 'everything' frankly sucks, my instinct is to close up, bristle, and channel my body language into a nice little 'do not disturb' sign.

For about a year, that's what I did.

I suppose that element of myself has become my, um, 'badass' part XD ...The part that shuns dependence, weakness, and trust. In my case, it was a survival instinct--and after a year, it's become an indelible part of me. To this day, if I feel the slightest bit threatened or vulnerable, I return to that person. But my real, Tennyson/Tolkien/archery-loving self hasn't changed much.

I'm not sure if this is encouraging or not -.- ...Just know, I guess, that there ARE 'softer' girls out there. Some, like me, may just feel safer hiding their real selves; if I feel I can trust someone, if someone has a gentle, sensitive, or kind vibe about them, then I'll open up. It's just...the world's an unforgiving place, sometimes.

Pseudolonewolf
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Hmm, yes, this is the thing that I've heard time and time again... I've tried to look for other 'sensitive' types before, but I basically always hear "I used to be like that, but then I toughened up because of the way that people treated me"...

It's distressing, because I've been through various 'hardships' myself, but my response was never to change and become guarded in the way that basically everyone else has.
Faoladh
0

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Faoladh 22 United States MelancholicPhlegmatic INFJ 6w5 119C
I admire you for that, for refusing to conform.

...I just think that, in this day and age--for girls especially--it's a defense thing. In my case, if I hadn't learned how to guard myself, to not be afraid of standing up, I'd be in a bad place now. I think some girls--especially the quiet, gentler ones--feel really vulnerable in today's world.

I wouldn't consider myself a cynical person, or even a badass, per se--but in my situation, I literally had to learn how to fight back.

...I don't know if you've seen Firefly, but I guess the easiest way to sum myself up is as a sort of River Tam. I'm generally quiet, sensitive, and unassuming, but if I feel truly threatened--that's when my 'toughened' side kicks in.

...Not that my toughened side's anywhere as awesome as River's. XD